Humble

"I'm humble!" Ah... the most well known self-contradictory statement.

Lately, I was made aware of something that I do unconsciously. Once brought to my attention, I can't help myself but think about it ever since. Yes, as the title suggest, I have been thinking about humility; and no, I wasn't made aware that I'm humble.

Well, not exactly true. I was made aware that Asian has a unique culture to be humble. When given compliment, they would put themselves down, often times giving reasons why the compliment wasn't valid and that their efforts wasn't really much of a big deal at all.

It was an interesting observation that I didn't realize was that unique at all. However, I have realized that I haven't actually seen and live in a culture other than the Asian one. Hence, this observation is true to what I have seen growing up. It may even be one thing that I have picked up as I aged.

What intrigued me was, why I put myself down when given a compliment/when people acknowledge something that I have done?

I grew up in a Christian family, as a result, the parable that Jesus taught in Luke 14:7-11 came to mind immediately. It was a parable about how we should sit at the lowest place when invited to a wedding feast, so when the host comes, he can do anything else but to ask you to sit somewhere better. Well, that's roughly what the story is about anyways.

The first thing that came to my mind was this: Do I make myself humble so others will think that I'm better than those who don't (put me in a better position)? I had a long evaluation in what I was doing my entire life. Being/Acting humble was so natural and done daily that it is now done without any though. It's like second nature.

Then I realized that there may be such a thing as too humble; humble brag may not be as simple as I thought it would be. I always thought that humility was a trait that no one could ever get enough off and that it's the one trait that anyone must have and wouldn't be wrong in having it; I always thought humble brag would mean someone who constantly goes around telling people that they are humble or some similar form, I didn't realize that it could come in disguise as an actual humble act. I guess that's what "true" humble brag is. I have noticed that humility, just like any other thing can be manipulated and used to gain a leverage.

Humility may be one of the most complex thing I have ever thought of. The more I gave time and thought into it, the more complicated it gets. Just when I thought I got it, it just gets more fuzzy.

I guess I'll never be able to fully understand what humility means. (Maybe thats a humble brag?)