Rest? What is it?

Woohoo!~ Dead blog coming alive. That's a very good reason to celebrate!

Heh.. I haven't been on this blog for quite a while. Mainly, because I was fairly busy this past few weeks. Not to mention the lack of ideas to blog about.

So, I have decided to talk about time. Since it effortlessly flied by me (and I would like to argue that it does that to everyone else).

Time. It has been ticking as long as mankind can remember. Even before that it would probably have been ticking just that no one was there to keep track. Anyways, it has never stopped. We, humans, are just busy with out busy life. Looking intently at our mini-screens at out palms, grabbing that cup of coffee that we can't live without, rushing out of the house only to be greeted with a long line of cars. One thing we never do (well, at least people that live in the city at least) is to take time to rest. No, sleeping at night is not considered rest. Well, at least it's not the rest that I'm talking about.

Rest. A very simple word, yet nobody seems to know how to do it correctly, some don't even do it at all. As an ex-A-levels student, I have friends that definitely fit the description I have said so far. Nobody can say that they have went through A-levels stress-free. Anyways, why can't people rest? What happened to just sitting back and relaxing? Even in our free time, we still keep our minds occupied with unending lists of statuses/tweets. Keep our hands stick to the things that this generation has touched more than anything else in the world - keyboard and mouse.  We have forgotten how to rest.

Unwilling. Yes, unwilling. We are unwilling to rest. Someone who rests is automatically seen as weak in societies eyes. Only the strong survive, only the one that keeps moving forward without ceasing will be the victor. We are not willing to tell people that we are weak. I would like to take a moment to talk about vacations. We have come to a stage where a vacation can become a tiring task. From the food to the accommodation to the transport, it all becomes something added into an imaginary (sometimes not) To-Do-List. Vacation quickly becomes a tiring chore. At the end of the day, we will be more tired than before we went to that vacation, with thousand and thousands of pictures we have taken to prove that we have "been-there-done-that".

Stupid. We are quickly becoming a foolish generation where the brain continuously becomes a factory of mundane tasks. We no longer stop and just rest. We have forgotten the importance of it. We move on with life and have no clue that we have lost the most important thing in out life. No doubt, we can survive without it. However, we can not live without it. Without it, the colorful life that we have the potential to have will slowly turn black and white. Funny how our television have evolved from black and white into HD display of different colors, yet, our lives are as dull as ever. We have 100 over channels on TV and we can still have the guts to say "I'm bored!". We have all the entertainment we can have at the tips of out fingertips, in fact, many companies have been and still are striving to bring it closer and closer to us, but, we are never satisfied.

Tired. We are a very tired generation. Constantly pursuing things that will never satisfy us just because we have lost the art of resting. Too many things to keep us busy but nothing to keep us fulfilled; too many things to fill our brains with but nothing to keep it nourished. We are constantly in a state of extreme fatigue.

Time. Rest. Unwilling. Stupid. Tired. We have forgotten how to TRUST. We have been cheated and deceived upon so many times we no longer believe in anything anymore. We no longer dare let our guards down by resting, fearing that we may be back-stabbed. We cannot close our eyes anymore because our world can no longer be safe. We involuntarily build our walls up between us and others to prevent any unexpected attack from them.

We can no longer rest.

Unknown

Why do we fear the unknown.

I fear the unknown. I'm scared of the uncertainty of the future. The fragile hope that I hold on to which can be crushed by words or events that are beyond my control.

Why do I have to wait? Oh... I know why. However, will it be worth it.

It always sways me from happy to hopeless; from hopeful to depressed. Why bother?

I wish I had someone to talk to sometimes. Then I remember, why not this blog? So, here I am.

Many things happens in my life. Dreams can be started, developed and totally crush in a short span of a few days. With such an amazing imagination, it is only a matter of time before I have a complete breakdown.

Everyday, people interact with me. They are talks and silences. Sometimes even laughter. But, when the day ends, I realized I have nobody to turn to. Yeah, you read it right, nobody. Surprisingly, I got used to this.

I got used to not talking about what I feel. I got used to keep all my feelings bottled up. In hope that, if I'm lucky enough, all that bothers me will eventually go away.

As I grow older (I'm only 19, but I feel like it has been at least 30 years), everyone around me will have found their dreams to strive towards to, significant other to impress and woo. I just feel that I am lagging behind the pack, it feels that everyone around me is too focused on their goals for them to realize that I have fallen behind.

This reminds me of a snorkeling trip that I had very recently. Unlike a few of my friends, I am not so competent in travelling in water. As a result, I will always be behind them, struggling and barely keeping up to them. That situation will never get out of my head.

It feels like what I'm feeling now. No one around me. Just me floating around a big blue ocean and only a few that are swimming towards the horizon in front of me, not even looking back.

Anyways, all these bottled up feelings, I feel as though they have been trapped enough. They just want to be poured out, to be heard. Unfortunately, I'm the kind of person who don't just go around telling everyone how I feel. It's funny because I'm like that, my friends eventually won't expect me to say anything to them, hence they won't even bother asking.

So many things happening at once and I don't think I can keep up physically, mentally and emotionally anymore.

Too Tired

Nope... Not because I'm a bicycle. But because there isn't any energy or reasons for me to continue on.

Why bother with it? Why even care? In the end, when everything is settled, everyone will be gone.

There is no chance that people will stick together forever. No such thing as the so called "BFF" (Best Friends Forever).

Why? Because humans embrace change. They don't like consistency or boring-ness. Though we all grumble and complain when things are changed, but we will get used to it in a blink of an eye.

For example, the changes in Facebook and YouTube layouts. They made a couple of changes ever since the website was introduced to the public. Not just minor changes but MAJOR ones that completely seem foreign to us at first sight. How does the public initially react to this? They pour our they hate in the form of complains towards the company or whoever designed the layout. From the slightest detail to the whole layout, there is nothing that they will agree that they like.

Then what happens? They continue on with life using these websites. Why? Because deep down they know that no matter how much they complain, the change will eventually become part of their lives. The moment when they realize that their complains are just like a baby punching a wall hoping the entire will budge, they will give up and move on.

There is absolutely no reasons for people to NOT embrace change. Changes in life are bound to happen whether we like it or not. It's call life. And life will consists of many stages of life where we meet new people and forget old ones. Yes, sometimes in a new stage of life we still stick with our old friends, but how many stages will they last?

A few more stages and they are probably going to be somebody that you had spent great times with; someone that you thought would be your BFF; someone that you thought you couldn't live without.

In the end, all that is left in a friendships are painful memories to remind us of all the things that define happiness to us at that point of our life. Nothing more. More friendships, more memories, more things to pain ourselves with.

We are humans. We move on. We adapt to change.