WARNING! LONG POST AHEAD!

Dead... So dead...

It's either I'm not inspired or I just don't feel motivated to write a specific topic.

Too many things happen during this gap of "quietness"?

Exams... Holidays...

And now it's the new semester. Just like the previous semester but with new faces and more things to learn.

Read an article a few days ago about introvert people. (Yes, I am one.)

They think a lot. Like CRAZY A LOT!

Well, I didn't have to read the article to know that about myself. I mean, I can just sit there for 6 hours straight just observing my surroundings and thinking about EVERYTHING.

2 people chatting along. I would start eavesdropping (my favorite activity so far) on their conversation. Then my brain would wonder off to the question: Why does the listener keep looking at the watch? Class starting? Expecting someone? The talking person is too boring? How can the person talking be so ignorant of the person sitting right in front? Now the listener is looking from left to right. He is looking everywhere but the one talking. Has he lost interest in the conversation? Looking for someone? Why is he smiling if he is not interested? Why does his smile seem so fake? Is is because the eyes do not move up when he smiles?
Why does this happen? Why did he/she do that? Why this, Why that? Questions keep popping up in my head.

Yeah, you just went through part of my thoughts that went through my mind when I was bored and sat at the cafe just sitting there "chilling". So, whenever you see me by myself just spacing out. Don't bother asking me "What are you thinking?". Because I will definitely lie to you and say: nothing.

Of course I don't spent my whole time and energy on such useless thoughts. I devote them to my homework and studies too. Unfortunately, it soon becomes all thinking about the concept and understanding that I end up just thinking of everything BUT doing my homework. I ponder on things from physics then 5 minutes later I will be thinking on how a solar-powered candle would prove useful. (sadly I don't think it is useful)

Another awesome thinking moment is when I'm bathing. I can just stand there and allow my train of thought to wonder from one station to another as I feel the cold water flowing down. It's the best moment! Truly!

From A to Z then back to A. My mind doesn't stop thinking. Of course I do have my personal thoughts which this blog is too public and I would want my private thoughts to remain in my brain. But, most of the time my thoughts are unrealistic and yet fun to think about.

Such as: What if I changed all tar road and tires to magnet. I could potentially decrease the fuel comsumption of every car. What if humans could fly? Will there be air traffic police? If yes, how are the rules gonna be like? Speed limit 60mph? Will there sill be traffic lights? Are the wings going to be different among humans? Would we be discriminated by the color of wings we had? Different class people fly at different altitudes?

Yes, I know... My mind is messed up.... But Hey! I love to have this thoughts. Keep my mind sharp and moving. I probably would die of brain tumor if brain activity contributes to the chances of growing a tumor in my brain.

Recently, I have too many thoughts that my brain is having a breakdown. Headaches getting more and more frequent and more ache each time. Thought it doesn't have much affect. But, I can feel that my body is just more lazy. (Though I'm already very lazy)

It usually happens when I wake up in the morning. Maybe my brain doesn't agree very much with my dream.
Sadly, I don't posses the ability to remember my dreams when I wake up. I wish I had it though. I know my dreams are going to be awesome, since my daydreams are already so crazy.

Which got me wondering a question I bumped across last time. Do blind people dream? If yes, what do they dream off?

HAHA! I think blind people have great dreams! (Yes, they do dream)

Speaking of dreams, Inception is a movie about dreams... (See how my brain goes? I'm not even planning on what to write... I just let my mind take over my hands... Which is a bad thing cause it will go on and on and on....) It has a great plot and if any of you out there (if there is even anybody reading this...) who haven't watch it, it's a great movie with a nice plot.

GAH! I went out of track... talking too much irrelevant stuff.... Where was I? Oh yeah! Introverts!


One more thing about introverts is that, contrary to popular belief, they do enjoy the company of others. When I say others, I do not mean every person they know in their life. Introverts enjoy the company of their very close(not to mention, few) friends and love to have deeper friendships rather than more friendships. But, of course who wouldn't want that. Everybody longs for a true friend that will be there for them no matter what.

"Losing friends can be particularly difficult for introverts because we don't surround ourselves with people. We prefer a few intimate friends to lots of less-intense friendships, and deep discussion with one person to a party full of festive chitchat. For us, losing one good friend can leave a larger hole in our lives than it might for an extrovert with 25 best friends."

Sadly, that is too true. Maybe one of the reasons why I don't grow too attached to people. I have a tendency to become too sticky and end up losing a part of me when that person is leaving or has their priority changed. Adding on to my constant thinking of useless stuff. I can't help it but think of the future when I meet and make new friends. I keep telling myself to keep a distance. No way can a friendship last forever. There is no such thing. It always ends at some point. Everything ends at some point. So, I'll be smart and make it easier for myself to not grow too attached to only a few friends. I end up being afraid of making friends. Making excuses so that I can stay in the comfort zone. Why make friends? No point in developing and investing in something that will never last, right?

One thing I learn from the Chinese language is this: Even from the ancient times, Chinese have already concluded that friends are easy to find, however, a true friend is hardly possible. I can easily think of a few idioms and proverbs about how hard it is to find true friends to back up my theory. Why is it so hard to find a true friend? I think personality plays a huge role. Some people can just meet for the first time and they know for sure that this friendship will be something that is long-lasting and meaningful; some are just plain torture just to be around together. Finding a true friend is not just about personality compatibility though. Some other factors such as time spent together in one day, gender, personal opinions and many more play a vital role but that doesn't mean a female Christian cannot be friends with a male Atheist. I just think that the possibilities of them being friends are very slim.

You are born with no friends; you leave with no friends. I mean, how hard can it be?